The Briar Patch

Who is Morten Bremer?

posted by Rabby @ 5:41 AM 15 comments

Quote Of The Day

From the movie "Anchorman":

Ron Burgundy [after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo]: I immediately regret this decision.

posted by Rabby @ 5:59 AM 2 comments

Well an I can quote Miller too an all.

Well an I borrowed this book from Gilles that he borrowed from that cute little Milli an it's by a guy name of Donald Miller. An book title? "Searching For God Knows What." An now afore I give it back I'm a gonna quote from it here on The Briar Patch an all. So here it is now an I'll read it to you:

"In the context of my relationship with God, I know the temptation to bank on knowledge all too well. It is true that you can get a little buzz off knowing a couple of smart theological ideas. My friend Ross is a former seminary professor, and we were driving back from lunch one afternoon and I was telling him what I thought about a particular passage of Scripture, really going off about it as though I were the first of all men to understand what it meant. When I stopped to allow Ross space to tell me how smart I was, he just sat there in silence. "What do you think, Ross?" I asked. "Well," he said quietly, "I think knowledge puffs up."

Scripture says the nature of sin is deceptive, so deceptive that a person's mind can be carried away, and he will have no idea he has become something arrogant and proud and offensive until one of his friends slaps him on the back of the head ....

.... I know there are selfish motives mixed with my faith, that this community of faith is the jury of peers and they applaud when I know a lot of fancy theological stuff, and that can really screw a guy up. I learn more and get more applause and learn more and get even more applause ....

4-7"Instead of giving you God's Law as food and drink by which you can banquet on God, they package it in bundles of rules, loading you down like pack animals. They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn't think of lifting a finger to help. Their lives are perpetual fashion shows, embroidered prayer shawls one day and flowery prayers the next. They love to sit at the head table at church dinners, basking in the most prominent positions, preening in the radiance of public flattery, receiving honorary degrees, and getting called 'Doctor' and 'Reverend.'
8-10"Don't let people do that to you, put you on a pedestal like that. You all have a single Teacher, and you are all classmates. Don't set people up as experts over your life, letting them tell you what to do. Save that authority for God; let him tell you what to do. No one else should carry the title of 'Father'; you have only one Father, and he's in heaven. And don't let people maneuver you into taking charge of them. There is only one Life-Leader for you and them—Christ.

THE MESSAGE, Matthew 23:4-10

-- Searching For God Knows What, copyright Donald Miller, 2004

posted by Rabby @ 9:44 AM 0 comments

Sebastian and Harvey In The Briar Patch, pt. 2

Rabby: So an how did ya'll make nice?

Sebastian: After everyone began to scream and Harvey peed his pants, the full import of my actions came crashing down on me. I realized that I, Sebastian, lover of mankind, had committed an act of violence and aggression.

Harvey: I just want to say, again, that it really hurt my eye. And I thought it was a bullet. So anything that may have happened with leakage should be seen in light of that.

Rabby: Oh Harvey, we all know'd you is a lover, not a fighter.

Sebastian: Certainly. Anyway, I rushed to Harvey, saying, "There, there now boy -- see, it's just a water pistol."

Harvey: I began to cry because I thought he was going to start wacking me with the gun and I still couldn't see clearly.

Sebastian: Camille, realizing Harvey had only been watered, began to laugh and to walk away. And in that instant I knew that I'd been played for a rube again.

Rabby: So you admit you acted hasty an all on account a the woman.

Sebastian: Yes. Oh, my Camille. How I long for her. And how she toys with me.

Rabby: Boy, I'm a gonna tell ya whatfer. Yer actin' like a dang fool. An wuts more, an I'm jest gonna say it an I'm sorry fer my bluntness, but Sebastian --

Sebastian: Yes?

Rabby: Yer a jackass.

Harvey: Brother Earl!

Rabby: No, no, it's true. He's a made hisself a jackass over this girl an now I'm gonna say something an I know this is harsh an all but he needs to hear it. Sebastian, this woman don't want none a you.

Sebastian: I, I ... I know. Oh, woe is me. Woe is me, wretched speck of dust that I am.

Harvey: My friend, we've all been there.

Rabby: Well, an Lord knows afore I got redeemed an all, I sure made a mess a things and got a little sideways on account a the womens.

Sebastian: How can I win her back?

Rabby: Yer too good fer this woman!

Harvey: Certainly. What you need isn't found in women anyway. You need to get a Peace of the Rock.

Rabby: Oh, Harvey.

Harvey: Get it? The "rock" is Christ. I'm using that Prudential Life Insurance commercial, "get a "piece" of the "rock" but I'm saying "get the p-e-a-c-e" which sounds like p-i-e-c-e, and of course ....

Rabby: I heerd this one before ol' boy.

Harvey: Really? I've just invested my savings in T-shirts that say, "Peace Of The Rock." I'm going to get them in all the Christian book stores and Walmarts.

Rabby: Yer too late on this one, ol' pal. An plus I'm about to hurl.

Sebastian: I don't understand any of this.

Rabby: He means you need to git you right with the Lord.

Sebastian: I'm Episcopalian.

Rabby: But you been washed in the blood?

Sebastian: Come again.

Rabby: Let's you an me go fer some Co-cola an some moon pies an I'll tell ya all about it.

Sebastian: I suppose that would be okay.

Harvey: I'll come too! And I'll bring my witnessing tools.

Rabby: Harvey, I think you might need to rest that eye, ol' boy.

Harvey: Oh. Well, yes. Yes I suppose so. It hurt very badly, you know. Otherwise --

Rabby: You wouldn't a pee'd. We know.
An now ever body: this has been Earl P. Rabbit, otherwise known as Rabby, sayin' have a good day an thanks fer comin' on the Briar Patch an all. An stay tuned to this blog cuz I'll pro'lly write something agin' sometime even though it's hard to type cuz I'm jest a hare an I got no fingers to speak of. An now I'm gonna go get ol' Sebastian saved an all so we got to git out a here.

posted by Rabby @ 9:55 AM 3 comments

Sebastian and Harvey In The Briar Patch

Rabby: Well an this here is Earl P. Rabbit, otherwise known as Rabby, an I'm here in the Briar Patch today to interview two folks that has had some strong werds and some violence a 'tween 'em: Harvey Brown an Sebastian. An if'n you don't know wut I'm talking about, it all went down on ol' Gilles's blog in the comments section of his post about the X-Men. An now God has a worked a wonderful change an has helped them move past the hatred an all, an they are gonna tell us all about that. Right boys?

Harvey: Yes, Earl.

Sebastian: Certainly. And may I say that while I am not normally pleased with these little deus ex machina plot devices, I am glad, having now been a part of one, that everything has worked out for the best, Harvey's not dead, and I'm not behind bars.

Rabby: Day-us ex mock eeeee nah?

Sebastian: "God in a box" or "God from the machine." It was a theatrical ploy in ancient Greek plays. A god would appear at the end to solve all the characters' problems. They used a kind of crane to lower the actor playing Zeus or whomever onto the stage.

Rabby: Only one God, boy. An I don't know about no Zoos an all but Jesus Christ same yesterday, today, and forever. An died fer my sins an lives fer me too. An lives in me. An a wants to live in you.

Harvey: Earl, I'm not sure if this presentation of the gospel is effective on a sophisticate like Sebastian. But I've given him a copy of Evidence That Demands A Verdict and "The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman.

Rabby: Steven who?

Sebastian: Anyway, the reason we're here ...

Rabby: Talkin' about yesterday!

Harvey: Yesterday.

Sebastian: No easy game to play.

Rabby: I'll say. Cuz you shot ol' Harvey right in the eye and dang near detached his retina with that water pistol. An made him wet hisself.

Harvey: Earl!

Rabby: It's the truth an you know'd it Harvey. It's the truth with my hand up if'n I had to die.

Harvey: I, I ... he had a gun!

Sebastian: It's Camille. She drives me to do things that, well, I'm ashamed of.

Harvey: And I maintain that I know nothing of this woman.

Sebastian: Oh, I know that now.

Rabby: Let me tell you about the womens. Greatest troubles a man kin have an git hisself into is usually on account a the womens. Or the bottle. Or the womens an the bottle.

Sebastian: Well, I certainly have been driven to drink lately. My life has no meaning without Camille.

Rabby: But that's jest it ol' boy. Yer life has meaning cuz yer created in the image of the living God. An not on account a no girl. An you let God save yer wicked soul an you'll find yer purpose which is to praise Him an a live out yer mission which is to declare "Kingdom a God is at hand" to a lost an dying world an all.

Sebastian: I don't know about all of that.

Harvey: Have you heard of the "Romans Road?"

Sebastian: Come again?

Rabby: Huh?

Harvey: I have a tract ....

Rabby: Harvey we need to git this interview on track an all. But you give him yer paper an we'll talk about it later.

Sebastian: Yes. We will discuss this matter.

Rabby: So anyhow last time we saw you two, Sebastian you wuz in a rage an Harvey you wuz cryin' an screamin an you had some leakage goin' on in the pants.

TO BE CONTINUED

posted by Rabby @ 5:54 AM 5 comments

Can you believe it?

Other day I walked into a barbershop an asked me fer a trim an they said "We don't cut hares."

posted by Rabby @ 10:15 AM 1 comments

An now how much a redneck are you?

You Are 75% Redneck

Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!There ain't no redneck like you.

posted by Rabby @ 8:02 AM 2 comments